Monthly Archives: August 2010

“You’re a Malaprop!”

I have distributed my latest novel to many different readers.  Some that I am very familiar with, and some that I hardly know.  While searching for a manuscript that had been distributed I ran into the young lady that was reading it for me.  “I told my husband,” She began, “that you’re just as bad a malaprop as he is!”  Then she laughed.

In the time of getting feedback on your novel there is no time for feelings to get involved or twisted into the work you have spent so many man hours over.  You have to accept the honesty of the reader to help make your work one that will resonate better with the masses that will hopefully be reading your story.

I was so embarrassed that I didn’t know what a malaprop was when I had to ask, “What’s that?”  It was one of those saddening feats where you feel that you will never be good enough.  This young lady is an avid reader, and a highly intellectual one at that.  She proceeded to tell me that she loved the work, but it had it’s errors.  I know it has errors it was only the second draft!  Why I decided to have readers look it over at only the second draft is beyond me….No it’s not.  I tend to think that my work is different.  My work doesn’t require an editor or some outside influence.  This sort of thinking may explain why my first two books were only published by Publish America.

Malapropism:

Luckily for me, being a malaprop isn’t so bad.  You just have to use a dictionary (much like any one else) in some very specific cases.  Oh and having an intelligent reader or editor is a great key to this as well.  None the less, I felt completely incompetent once I had come to understand the meaning of this word, and knowing that it pretty much meant you weren’t intelligent enough to tell the difference between two words.

Here’s to many other self realization facts in the near future!


(ˈmæləprɒpˌɪzəm) [Click for IPA pronunciation guide]
n
1. the unintentional misuse of a word by confusion with one of similar sound, esp when creating a ridiculous effect, as in I am not under the affluence of alcohol


possible synopsis…

Good morning! I am writing to you now with the hopes that some of you will happily provide some feedback on which of the following three synopsis’ would make you want to read “The Unexpected”

#1

Everyday across the media there are invigorating statements relating to the end of the world.  Nostradamus, the Bible, and the mayan calendar all predict the end to be in 2012.  What if we lived to see a world beyond this where there was peace and abundance.  What if this was the perfect world to begin the ultimate chapter of the end, the Revelation.

When Andrew Rakford becomes President of the United States of America he wishes his mother was there because she was the one that always said that God had a great plan for him.  Now as he grows and survives multiple terrorist attacks his life begins to change without much more than a thought towards it.  Forgetting his mother and moving forward with his own plans he soon finds what this great plan had always been.  The Anti-Christ has never been  a position that has been so well taken with a drive and dillegence as by Andrew Rakford

#2

The threats of 2012 loom everyday on the news, in our minds, and across civilization.  What if we made it past this to see a world that initiates it’s president with an Inaugural massacre which makes way to the great Christian Revolt?  “The Unexpected” creates a world much like the one we live in today but filled with anxious twists of what’s norm, from Christian terrorists, blatant execution without due diligence, and modern day concentration camps.

Andrew Rakford is a young President of the United States starting out at the youngest age allowable, 35.  With a swarm of warped memories of his childhood and life practices Andrew is capable of using charm as well as intelligence in attempts to literally make everybody happy.  Till he learns of the truth of his mother’s reactions to his life, and the true reason why his father had left so many years ago does he remain a man of unfathomable patience and kindness.  Smart twists to the plot and story line add the dramatic effect of this novel never truly allowing the reader to see what will happen, though told through a third person omniscient point of view.

#3

Imagine that you are at the ripe young age of 35.  You’ve just received a promotion where you feel you can make everything better, the wrongs into rights and the woes into victories.  You’re mother always used to tell you that you were going to be a mighty man of God after a priest had prophesized this for you.  Here you sit being agnostic, but still having a love for your deceased mother, her lovely sayings, and realistic revelations.

The Christians have united and created a terrorist group that is reigning destruction on the United States and countries abroad because they feel that the government has become too corrupt to go on.  A combination of assassination attempts, terrorist attacks, and a plethora of missing people finally makes you initiate a plan in order to keep the world safe.  A plan that would ensure people follow you, and don’t oppose you.  A plan where the world is the edge of your every command.  You now know that you are the President of the United States, and you are the Anti-christ.


Time? for Work, play, relationship, and work again.

photo by: Kirstea from flickr.com

Time is everything.  Time is money.  Time is something that you can never get back.  These are things that I realize on a daily basis.  Having just been assigned some additional duties (which take up an additional 11 hours a week!) there is little time for me to go to the gym let alone write.  With the third novel being the biggest production of them all; including an agent, a big time publisher and a project manager position, I can’t seem to find time to write.

One of my recent entries regarding insomnia truly hasn’t stopped.  I still stay up late (check out the time of this blog) and I still have to get up early so I can be to work at a respectable time.  Factor in a relationship, one that I would quit everything for, and you have yourself some very time consuming days.  I had been joking around with some people that inquire into my life that my two days off I’m working, now this joke has not been such a laughing matter.  I feel like it has begun to drive me insane yet I continue to pursue further opportunities to improve my grammar and story writing skills.

Just yesterday I inquired to two writing gigs for magazines.  I hope that this will widen my scope and or credibility when trying to get an agent or write for other agencies.  Then I wonder if I were to quit my job tomorrow if I would be able to support myself through writing.  According to Allena Tapia from About.com she makes about 40k a year.  I guess if I were that developed I might not be so bad off.

The past three novels that I have written I have found that while I am writing my social life takes a plummet.   Only the three of my closes friends are really still there for me when I come out of the wilderness back to society.  Here is the official catch.  I am trying to make as much money as I can so that I can finally open up the restaurants that I have been dreaming of for years (who doesn’t have a goal similar to this?).  The good thing about writing a novel is that you can see an end in sight.  You know that there is going to be a lull in time where the publishing is at a slow pace while the publisher reads over the work, or the editing is taking place, the target market is reading the book and providing feedback.  This is the time that you cash in on.  You see all  of your friends and you see the love of your life, your mom, your dog, your favorite cat, maybe you get to that leaky faucet that has been driving you crazy.  I then have to pose the question, When is there an end in sight when you are writing as a living?  What if you’re writing for that extra income?

Ultimately there is too much to get into here and I won’t.  Allena Tapiafrom About.com has some great advice about juggling writing gigs and formal work so I do recommend that you visit her site, but at the same time.

Is there anyone else that feels similar to how I feel right now?  If so, PLEASE fill me in on some of your coping techniques because I want to get so much better at all of this.

Thank you,

Caleb A. Mertz