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The Way it Was Meant to Be

Good Day!

Last night the boyfriend was away, and I sat at my computer mostly watching mom play Bingo. I decided I wanted to get to working on my Query letter once again, but definitely found it difficult to get started. Any way, I am on Agent Query Connect.com and have posted about five different versions of my query letter on the site already. I imagine that I must be boring some people so I thought about a title change. I went through titles such as UNEXPECTED DESSIMATION, PLANNED ABOMINATION, then finally, THE WAY IT WAS MEANT TO BE.

Obviously I can change the title at any time, but I want to try something different. This book has been “done” for about six months now, and nothing…

Tell me what you think of my new Query Letter:

 

Dear Mr. Woohoo,

Please take time to read the following query.

Finally understanding the plan his mother said God had for him, left President Rakford in a place of agony and despair. With darkened eyes and severed rationality the lady in his head laid victim to the rage that she brewed within him. Even in her death there was more to quell, Rakford quickly turned on the sect that began the Great Christian Revolt and sneered at the possibility of relief.

Before his mother died in a car crash, she thrived off knowing he was to be part of God’s plan. Having his boyfriend over the night before, caused her dreams to falter, and her relapse into alcoholism. The lady in his head reminded him of this, and how his dad left because of him. She reminded him that everything he had been through, making him strong, wasn’t as he thought. She reminded him of the lies he had built his life on, causing it to crumble. Before this lady, President Rakford had addressed the United States on peace and well-being. He faced the beginning of the Great Christian Revolt the best he knew how. The plan his mother spoke of had been executed for thirty-five years, which left Andrew Rakford little time to calculate something to put off those plans.

Accepting the possibility that the center of his religious up bringing was against him, forced him to consider the malicious options at hand. If he were submissive to the way things were heading, he would just be the enemy of God. If, however, he embraced the truth, maybe he could defeat the opposition and be victorious over the man that was said to create the heavens and the earth.

THE WAY IT WAS MEANT TO BE is a 68,000 word finished novel. An end of times thriller, tuning into the fears of 2012 yet promising a world past this.  I have had two books self-published “With Thoughts of Jason” and “The Silhouetted Leaves”. To write the work described above I combined church experience along with the world of witchcraft, which I had practiced briefly. Political involvement and raised in a military household has helped as well.   Partial or full manuscript is available upon request.  Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Caleb A. Mertz

Bad Query, Good Query

By this time I am almost terrified to post anything more on my queries.  It, at times, feels like my babies ripping my hair out for me.  I am sure that my facebook friends are tired of me asking them to check out the latest query.  Even though I realize this I am still re-writing the damned query!

One night I sat down and rewrote my letter and thought ‘This is great! It tells the story and kind of tells what the books about‘ — Well the very next day I woke up and reread the query being nothing but excited.  I was overwhelmed with a horrible and sickening emotion.  Heck, now it just read as if it were a faith novel about the end times!  I am not querying christian faith agents, but mainstream fiction/ thriller types.  So I write again.

I come up with another one that seems cool.  AH! I can’t write a friggin query letter that “Seems cool”!  I re-write again.  I feel content with the opening paragraph and focus on the second.  After re-reading it about thirty times and making small grammatical corrections, I am dissatisfied with the first paragraph.  Those first few words are what determine if the agent will continue to read.  Ultimately I realize that this process takes some serious time, but boy is it ever fun.  It creates the possibility to exercise all of my creative writing skills along with practicing my grammar.  This isn’t such a bad thing.

Anyway, only when I have a query letter that wows me as the author will I post it.  I will keep everyone posted till then, but just wanted to rant here for a bit.

Thank you,

Caleb A. Mertz

My third Query Letter

Writing a query letter to an agent is something that seems like a horrible task when reviewed and researched on-line.  Never being one to quit I took the advice of many agents, authors, and reviewers into view when compiling this query.  Please tell me what you think, and again take the poll.

“The climbing number of terrorist actions had brought the world to Washington D.C. for Mr. Rakford’s inauguration.  At a place of peace and in a time of hope did death and fear strike by the force of “Christian” terrorists.

Andrew Rakford, 35, was a man of altruistic authority when he was named President of the United States.  Wanting to take the woes of the world and turn them into victories along with the wrongs into rights, would he make the world a better place.  He wasn’t, however, the only one with a plan.  His mother always reminded him that God had many great things for him to accomplish, but as these plans came to confrontation the world began taking an agonizing turn.  Though they melded and worked perfectly together, it remained tethered at the final result of Andrew.  Would he be the best president in years, releasing the world of the terrorist hold, or the greatest evil known to man in the form of the Antichrist?”

possible synopsis…

Good morning! I am writing to you now with the hopes that some of you will happily provide some feedback on which of the following three synopsis’ would make you want to read “The Unexpected”

#1

Everyday across the media there are invigorating statements relating to the end of the world.  Nostradamus, the Bible, and the mayan calendar all predict the end to be in 2012.  What if we lived to see a world beyond this where there was peace and abundance.  What if this was the perfect world to begin the ultimate chapter of the end, the Revelation.

When Andrew Rakford becomes President of the United States of America he wishes his mother was there because she was the one that always said that God had a great plan for him.  Now as he grows and survives multiple terrorist attacks his life begins to change without much more than a thought towards it.  Forgetting his mother and moving forward with his own plans he soon finds what this great plan had always been.  The Anti-Christ has never been  a position that has been so well taken with a drive and dillegence as by Andrew Rakford

#2

The threats of 2012 loom everyday on the news, in our minds, and across civilization.  What if we made it past this to see a world that initiates it’s president with an Inaugural massacre which makes way to the great Christian Revolt?  “The Unexpected” creates a world much like the one we live in today but filled with anxious twists of what’s norm, from Christian terrorists, blatant execution without due diligence, and modern day concentration camps.

Andrew Rakford is a young President of the United States starting out at the youngest age allowable, 35.  With a swarm of warped memories of his childhood and life practices Andrew is capable of using charm as well as intelligence in attempts to literally make everybody happy.  Till he learns of the truth of his mother’s reactions to his life, and the true reason why his father had left so many years ago does he remain a man of unfathomable patience and kindness.  Smart twists to the plot and story line add the dramatic effect of this novel never truly allowing the reader to see what will happen, though told through a third person omniscient point of view.

#3

Imagine that you are at the ripe young age of 35.  You’ve just received a promotion where you feel you can make everything better, the wrongs into rights and the woes into victories.  You’re mother always used to tell you that you were going to be a mighty man of God after a priest had prophesized this for you.  Here you sit being agnostic, but still having a love for your deceased mother, her lovely sayings, and realistic revelations.

The Christians have united and created a terrorist group that is reigning destruction on the United States and countries abroad because they feel that the government has become too corrupt to go on.  A combination of assassination attempts, terrorist attacks, and a plethora of missing people finally makes you initiate a plan in order to keep the world safe.  A plan that would ensure people follow you, and don’t oppose you.  A plan where the world is the edge of your every command.  You now know that you are the President of the United States, and you are the Anti-christ.


Pitching the Big Idea

Yesterday while I spent the day off I had some serious issues with writing. I wanted to get writing as soon as I had gotten my day started. Waking up was trouble enough. I knew that as soon as I stepped out from the bedroom there would be a severe heat that would cause me pain.

In my office I have some postcards that I have made up of all of my projects. The one that is front and center is “The Unexpected Teaser” So I’m looking over this and the dreadful reality sets in. Some moron decided to put December 010 as the release date. Having had been through the publication process with my publishers I know that it takes upwards of six months from the moment they sign you, and December  is less than six months away.

The bigger thing is that this one I am aiming for the stars. With it’s relevance to modern day happenings and the over all excitement that it draws, I feel that it would be a great find for any reader. But then how do I pitch this un-solicited work to a mainstream publisher and turn this puppy into a solicited work?

I’m not sure how to answer that. I do however have one draft of a pitching letter that is drawn and getting revised constantly. Depending on the mood I’m in I can either be so optimistic about this project, or I can be downright awful to myself and my hopes.  I look to About.com to help me out in this time of need.  It’s through Ginny’s plethora of information about publishing that I can finally attempt to make things happen.  I’d love to be able to post my pitch letter here, but I can’t.  As I said before it’s only in its infancy stage.

There’s one more thing.  I am looking up the publishers that might publish something of my genre and or story idea.  I am currently on page 112 of what I’d like to be a 250-300 page novel.  Time is of the essence in getting this work done and published as closely to December as I possibly can.  It’s a deadline that I have set for myself, which may help in the actual completion of this project.

If you have any ideas or comments on what I am going through definitely take the time to comment.

Caleb A. Mertz