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Herbert Alfricht

Herbert Alfricht sat on his enclosed front porch at three o’clock in the morning. The day had been a particularly odd day.

There had been a communion of senses, and neighbors. They surrounded their cars and ravaged the white crystals encasing their cars.

The old herbs burned slowly on the charcoal, as was intended, as he smoked his manufactured cigarette.

The first puff added a significant fragrance to the thistle, sunflower, sandlewood, and pine inscence.

The studious stout chilled his frozen touch, yet warmed his warning.

He closed his eyes as the children of the wind pushed at his storm windows. They laughed and whistled as they began to taunt.

He heard them running along the side of his house, pressing against every window in it’s pane.

He could hear the Halloween corn tacking against the front door. They threw his front door opened so it bent on it’s hinges.

They ran. His ears came back, and the cigarette intensified. The studious stout made him smile.

Old Herbert Alfricht knew what would come, so he had to hate everything about this world, so he wouldn’t miss it when he went.

“Damn those kids…”

“Damn Haloween!”

“Damn Snow!”

“Damn this stout!”

Goodbye Mr. Alfricht…


– Caleb A. Mertz

Enticing the creativity

Be on the lookout! Not only is green grass in short supply here in the north, but so is creativity! Strike that… the creative spark is lacking. Over the past several weeks there has been a burden of snow upon us. As we prepare for these monstrous storms (all of which still prove to be serious to me) I have been found to be breaking my back over the new work load. Others have been spreading needless amounts of salt on their sidewalks, or piling snow into my boyfriends parking spot! In all of this there is little time for my mind to relax, but now I stress even more wondering where all of the creativity has gone.

I had a great month in August. I wrote in my blog more than once, and I had found my new best writing buddy, let alone a great new friend. The weather was hot, my tan was superb, and my body was finally bulking into what I had wanted since I was twelve. Now, apparently, I am preparing for hibernation (explains the added pounds, plus the unquenchable hunger), sleeping later, and missing the gym due to a “changing work environment”. So how do I go about enticing the creativity? The creativity to write in my blog, or to finish my long awaited book, or to write a damned query letter that attracts a bit more than flies!

Today was a great day, because I was able to entice a bit of that lazy creativity to seep through some invisible source and slowly drip into my subconscious which then slowly fed my alcohol infused conscious thought.

-Today is the day I thought about the ridiculousness of my mild excuses to myself.

-Today I thought about the amount of things I could be achieving by waking up two hours earlier than the past three years.

-Today I realized that I have just been lazy for a serious amount of time. Now the laziness hasn’t always been so. It started as enthusiasm over a new relationship. This enthusiasm slipped into comfort, which then eased into the laziness of not ensuring everything necessary to keep life in order was being completed on a regular schedule.

I sit here on the eve of the day I will get up at 9am and testify that this will help to establish a balance in my life which will allow my professional obligations to be fulfilled, while satisfying the personal obligations that I have set. If I don’t post something new on here within a week, either I have failed, or I have been over run with restaurant obligations.

Till the final determination…

Caleb A. Mertz